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Susan
30 June 2015 @ 11:00 pm
So, I may have mentioned on Twitter and forgotten to mention here - I was brave! I booked an appointment with the doctor to be like "So, I think I might be crazy and want to talk to someone about maybe having ADD!" And I was really prepared, I had my list of reasons why, and all the recommendations were "Take the symptoms list, annotate it, stick to your guns, be brave" -

I folded like a towel. Felt stupid the whole time, too stupid to get my list out, and when he listened to me babbling incoherently and went "No, I don't think you have that, it's really only for children," I just kinda went "Oh." He gave me the number for the local counselling services as this clearly mattered to me. "Oh. Thank you."

Then he asked how healthy I was feeling, did I exercise, how my periods were (?!), how about a blood test - because apparently, by looking at me, he reckons that I might have polycystic ovary syndrome. ... Wow.

So, yeah, that's two things that I need to remember to build up some emotional fortitude for and remember to do! Wooooooo. Maybe I will feel less like a failure next time I talk to a medical professional.
 
 
 
Susan
26 June 2015 @ 03:34 pm
I am so excited but I have had to fire EVERYONE because it's been out since FEBRUARY and I didn't know! Here's hoping that the number of epic gunmage battles goes up and the number of female characters threatened with rape or villainised for their sexuality drops back to zero!

(Lex: We wants it precious!
Me: See, because I'm best spouse and NOT fired, I've ordered it already.)

I might buy the short stories while I wait, because that seems to be where all but one of the female POV characters live, and I am so invested in these stories being better about its female characters. Plus, I am really excited about Hot Army Dad's dead wife, and half of the short stories are about her or from her POV? *excited*

(ASK ME ABOUT MY COMPLICATED FEELINGS ABOUT THIS INDUSTRIAL REVOLUTION ERA FANTASY SERIES WITH ITS BULLET TELEKINESIS AND REVOLUTIONS AND DISGRUNTLING SEXUAL POLITICS. *stares at [community profile] ladybusiness*)
 
 
 
Susan
16 June 2015 @ 11:30 pm
I'm not saying that I need a) Uncharted fic where Nate uses the awesome upper body strength he obviously has (from all that wall jumping and dangling from things, you see) for wallsex, or b) I need DRAMAtical Murder fic where Aoba tops everyone...

Except no, wait, that is EXACTLY what I'm saying. Where is this and why is it not in my face right now.

(I'm sorry if you thought I wasn't trash! Because I totally am! This is why I have been reading shitty Kingsman fic all weekend. I really hope you're judging me, because I'm judging me.)
 
 
 
Susan
In my brain, it's not "Ohhhh there are seven(?) kids with magic alien science powers and they're being hunted down and murdered, and I am one of those children! The three kids who lived before me are dead! I am number four!"

It's "There are kids with magic alien science powers and they're being hunted down and murdered. I am one of the assassins. The three who hunted them before me are dead. I am number four."

And then no matter how many times I read the blurb, it is NOT THE BOOK I THINK IT IS. And I just... I really want that book. Maybe the assassin teams up with them! Maybe the book is the assassin's character arc of "Hey, maybe the empire is wrong!" and maybe the kids all get stabbed up anyway or maybe they don't, I STILL WANT IT TO NOT BE THE BOOK THAT I PICK UP.
 
 
 
Susan
04 June 2015 @ 09:46 pm
It's fair, I was kinda inarticulate and misunderstood what the job was - which is a shame, because when they explained what it was, the job sounded AWESOME. Two of the ladies interviewing had interviewed me before for jobs, and they felt that I "didn't sparkle" as much as I did last time. Which is fair, but oh. That felt a bit personal. Good thing to bear in mind for my interview week after next, or if I get invited to interview for any of the other five jobs I applied for the other week.

Memo to me though: do not decide, while feeling crappy about a job interview, to actually total up your finances. You will realise that you're actually spent about £400 more than you could afford last month and it will make you want to just lie under your bed, earning no money and spending no money.
 
 
 
Susan
04 June 2015 @ 11:37 am
Interviewing for a job on the mobile libraries. Not 100% sure that I'll be a good fit for it, because I'd be going from one of the ten biggest/busiest public libraries in the country to a tiny room on wheels, which will be quite a jump, but I dream of working a defined schedule in a library within an hour and a half of my house, so this is the best chance that I've got. Will report back and let you know how it goes. <3
 
 
 
Susan
31 May 2015 @ 11:30 pm
It's got to the stage where I open my notebook or the file I want to write in, look at it for a minute, and then suddenly it's closed and I've been on the internet for twenty minutes and I don't actually know how I got from one to the other.

What the fuck brain. I am trying to make a commitment here, me and [twitter.com profile] splend are writing buddies with a death or glory pact, I don't have time to train you to do the things I want you to do.
 
 
 
Susan
It's been something that I've been meaning to do all year - set a budget, sort my life out, all that good stuff - and just never got around to, but someone cloning my card put the wind up me, so I actually set to it this week.

(The card has been stopped and the money refunded, just so people know! :) )

But... Okay, so my bills come to about £300. Getting to work every day is about £245. This month, my paycheque came to £530 and change. ... This is not fucking sustainable. This was the first month since September 2013 that I could afford to pay my rent and my bills, and even then I'm going to be living out of my overdraft until next payday.

I knew that I needed to look for a new job, I just didn't realise how bad it was.
 
 
 
Susan
Where you look at game blurbs advertising "20+ hours of gameplay!" (Example - see also Enslaved and Bayonetta though.), and you're like "Pfffft, amateurs," because of all of those 60+ RPGs you play? And then you suddenly remember that the only ones you've finished in a while have been 20+ hours and the 60+ hour ones are gathering dust?

Anyone? No? Just me? ... Okay.
 
 
 
Susan
19 May 2015 @ 09:49 pm
And now for something completely different: I have a job interview! To work in the mobile library! I completely forgot I even applied for that!

I'm somewhat not worried or fussed about this one, because there are like FIVE JOBS GOING for libraries in the country that I work for, within an hour's bus ride of my house. YES. LET ME LOVE YOU.