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08 June 2018 @ 12:21 am
So it turns out that when my PMT kicks in while I'm taking my St John's Wort, it feels EXACTLY LIKE the St John's Wort isn't working anymore, or my like my stupid liar brain has gone "YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY FAKING YOUR MENTAL ILLNESS, TIME TO DOUBLE DOWN!"

... Basically I've spent the entire last week convinced I was going mad and it wasn't fun!
I've got another month where I'm working six days a week and have a solid mass of deadlines to meet (Did I ever tell you that I'm bad at financial management and meeting deadlines), so I might be around a bit less for the duration. If you need me or want to make sure I'm working on things for you, ping me I guess?

(I am taking this opportunity to try out new work-life balance things! It's a learning moment! What I am learning is that this is the month I need to cram shifts into if I want to have any money for Nine Worlds!)
27 May 2018 @ 12:27 am
Lex and I are watching Jurassic Park today because he has a film club at work and I have transcripts, and these have conveniently overlapped so we have the one film to watch! ~Spoilers!~

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19 April 2018 @ 10:13 pm
look at it it's got anxiety meme

I survived the doctor appointment! I canonically have anxiety now! (Was it a headcanon before? Can someone turn this into the beautifully terrible joke it deserves?) Read more...Collapse )

Guys, I am so tired. I don't wanna write this day off, because I have a deadline tomorrow that I have NOT done the work for, but fucking hell I just want to sleep for a thousand years. But I did the thing! And whatever other things come my way that I have to do, at least it's not THAT thing!
18 April 2018 @ 01:59 pm
Hey guys! I'm back, I say, like I've been anywhere. It turns out that I managed to avoid my productivity crashing and burning in March by the skin of my teeth and April exploded instead. IT'S OKAY, my only goals for spring are "Make it to the summer" so it's not too bad!

  • I intensely regret not knowing that that it was going to be so beautiful out today, because I would have ABSOLUTELY have worn my cute polka-dot summer dress in this. (I can fit a paperback in the pockets! I need to see if anyone is still selling the polka dot designs anywhere, because I will absolutely wear this design in every colour they've got, but I am INTIMIDATED by the patterns on the Lindy Bop site.) I'm pretty much waiting until my phone is charged, then me and my laptop are going to court sunburn outside.

  • The people who made Regency Solitaire have a new game out called Shadowhand and it is exactly what I have the brainpower for this last two weeks. It's basically solitaire with funky layouts and sometimes a plot (Regency Solitaire is a very gentle Regency romance with conniving men attempting to ruin the family/marry the protagonist, and Shadowhand is about a Lady who poses as a highwaywoman to gain information and is very cavalier about the amount of murders she commits), and it's gentle enough and predictable enough that I can deal with it. I've just temporarily lost my ability to cope with new media that ISN'T predictable and gentle, which is fine! I am rewatching Pacific Rim Uprising a bunch of times and bunkering down with shoujo manga and cozy mysteries until I can face more complicated things.

  • (I am up to four I think, which is SURE A NUMBER OF TIMES TO WATCH THIS MOVIE.)

  • I have been swimming! I dropped down the number of lengths I've been doing and haven't been to as much Aquafit because the times changed for a couple of weeks – I've been doing 26 and 28 lengths, and I come out of it hating myself slightly less? I guess because I am spinning my mental wheels over snarky movie commentary instead of INTENSELY HATING MYSELF for forty-five minutes.

  • Disaster Sock is coming along! I am just decreasing for the toe now, and then I get to experiment with sewing it all together! I know, I know, I am the slowest knitter in the world, but also DISASTER SOCK DREW BLOOD (CW: photo of a hole in my hand). Knitting is LETHAL, guys.

  • I was unintentionally the living embodiment of this XKCD strip the other day.

  • We finished Pandemic Legacy Season 2, and I won't spoil anything here because it can PROBABLY stand to be a post on it's own, but it sure was a thing that I finished. If anyone wants to talk about it, HIT ME UP.

  • Somehow, I have ended up in three regular games each week, despite being very clear that I was keeping this number low for maximum disaster time. I don't know how this happened? Either way, my character in the D&D 3.5 game managing to CRIT HERSELF TO DEATH and get reincarnated as a gross demon thing that also happens to have absolutely nails combat stats. ... Unfortunately, I've been very vulnerable to mind control thus far in the game, so we have Suspicions about how this is gonna go.

  • I was baffled enough when I discovered that A Perfect Circle had a new album out, but one of the songs is called So Long and Thanks For All the Fish. SURE APC, SURE.

  • It turns out that a lot of my mental and emotional processing powers is going to this fucking appointment tomorrow. I have been trying not to go on about it (yes, all of the tweets and random conversations about it are what it looks like when I am trying not to bother people, I'm sorry, this is who I am as a person) but I'm still fretting about it. Lex is trying to convince me that people are putting energy and emotional effort into this thing with me because they are my friends and wouldn't do it if they didn't want to, but also hahaha oh god so many people have done emotional labour for me on this and I am going to be GUTTED if I've wasted their time. (I am mainly trying to convince myself that if there was nothing wrong with me I would not burst into tears at the idea of this just being who I am and it never getting any better, but you can imagine how that's going.) I am telling myself very sternly that by this time tomorrow it'll all be over but the screaming, and it's literally just twenty minutes of my life to get through, but pweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

  • I dunno, that's just... Where I'm at, what I'm up to. Now I'm off to (try) to write what makes my heart do the smiley emote, so I'll see you all later! ♥
07 April 2018 @ 11:48 pm
This started off as me taking notes for a fic I'm writing and turned into a reaction shot! And then Team Dying Lesbian Noises got together to yell about it, so I'm tossing this up while we finish watching it. I might come back and add more stuff later!

Spoilers for LITERALLY EVERYTHING. Film, game, DLC.

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Hello my darlings! I went to see Hamilton in London last Friday and it was incredible! The cast are all really good, and I loved all of them. It's so different seeing it all in motion than listening to the soundtrack! I know, I know, Captain Obvious Is Obvious, but it adds such extra layers even when the music is so visual! Random things I wanna yell about:

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(I did end up dressing up for it, in the dress I wore to the Hugos and my "How do you write like you're running out of time" bracelet from [personal profile] thebaconfat in case anyone was wondering how that twitter panic turned out.) (Also: the theatre is NOT ACCESSIBLE. Fair warning.)

AND: I got to go to Gay's the Word, because it turns out that it's just the next stop from St Pancras? Their second hand gay fiction shelf wasn't that great when I went (there was a lot of DRAMA, like "our hero was abused as a child by a priest but now he's living high life with sex, drugs, rock and roll, a rentboy, and a lover with HIV" and you think I'm exaggerating but I swear to god that was the summary of a book I picked up. I just want the murder mysteries and the fantasy novels and... Things not set in the nineties US club scene?), but I ended up looking at pretty much every lesbian fiction book they had. And then I left with like eight mysteries with queer female leads, Carmen Maria Machado's short story collection, and a Lynn Flewelling book.


(Aside: if they have a bisexual section, I didn't see it. LGT, yes, all clearly labelled, and three separate non-fiction sections depending on whether you wanted history or sociology/politics or practical information, a kid's section, yep, but... No obvious shelf labelled bi? I must have missed it!)

But yes, WHAT A GOOD WEEKEND. There is probably more yelling to do and I am just too brainfried for it, but: SO GOOD. SO. GOOD. <3 And today I was a responsible adult who finally got around to booking a doctor's appointment to see if I DO have anxiety or just a bad personality, so I feel like I earned that weekend in advance. :)
18 March 2018 @ 10:51 pm
  • Camp Nano is coming! I am low-key recruiting people into my cabin, because ACCOUNTABILITY YAY and also we are SUPER GREAT at cheerleading and making people look after themselves, so you should all join us. (Seriously, if you want in, give me your Nano username and I will make it happen.)

  • I am working on one SECRET and a story for bb_shousetsu because [twitter.com profile] dipping_sauce has promised accountability. My word count goal is 15,000! I'm sure this will be fine.

  • My second oldest niece turned twenty on Saturday and I'm appalled. I remember her being BORN. This is the worst, oh my god. (She's also lived in Mexico for the last few months while doing an Open University course and is running off to visit her boyfriend in Germany and just auuuuugh these go-getter kids making me feel old. I'm disgustingly proud of her.)

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  • I spent yesterday browsing stationery for my diary on etsy, because that is literally the single most soothing activity I can think of, and I found a character sheet that might hypothetically fit in my Filofax! (I know the listing is for a traveller's notebook size, as far as I can tell from printing and cutting it down, the personal size in that folder is the correct size but I'm gonna have fun with the hole punching.) Plus, I bought an address book printable off the same seller, so today I made a hash of assembling it into a cute little address book! I'm very happy with it as a first attempt, I think it looks pretty cute! And it turns out that when you have a proper double-sided printer and a hardcore guillotine, it's a lot easier to sort it out into a proper insert! (I did have to poor-man's-staple it because none of the staplers were long enough to hit the middle of the book – I poked the holes in at the right width with a push-pin and then threaded the staples through after.) [twitter.com profile] faintdreams: you were right! It is doable!

  • (PLEASE GIVE ME YOUR BUSINESS CARDS SO THAT I CAN USE CUTE TAPE TO STICK THEM INTO MY ADDRESS BOOK LIKE A NERD. I am still at the stage where I treat business cards like collectables. ... This is possibly because everyone I know has super cute business cards, actually.)

  • I am so tired, guys. I know it's because it's shark week and February/March are my months where routine goes out the window so I stop being able to function, but this is ridiculous. I'm gonna head to bed in a little bit and see y'all in the morning.
18 March 2018 @ 09:25 pm
Hey guys, it was mine and Lex's anniversaries last Sunday! We have been together for NINE YEARS now, and married for four! It is really weird to think about that much time passing, because... Wow. I know I joke that I have niblings younger than my relationship, but seriously nine years is a LONG TIME.

We pretty much had a quiet weekend of it – we stayed in on Saturday, went out for ~fancy~ burgers (when I say fancy: mine had brisket on it and Lex's had like ten thousand jalapenos) and then for an ice cream date where we had gelato and read our books! It was SO NICE! (I got Lex five of the How a Realist Hero Rebuilt the Kingdom light novels because he liked what he'd read of the manga, and now I just want to buy him a thousand ebooks because it turns out that snuggling under a blanket while we both read our books is REALLY GREAT?????) And then on Monday we watched a whole bunch of tv (Today's Menu For The Emiya Family is on Crunchyroll is surprisingly cute and wholesome, I love it), then went to Twycross Zoo to visit the marmosets! THEY HAD BABY MARMOSETS AND BABY SNOW LEOPARDS! They were so cute! (Marmosets are the cutest, fight me.)

... I still can't get over it being nine years. What the heck.